There’s a lot to be depressed about here, so pick your poison: If cruiserweights are the bottom rung on the ladder of How Much WWE Cares About Its Divisions, the second rung from the bottom is tag teams. If you told me they lived together and slept in the same bedroom in twin beds with their initials on the foot-boards I wouldn’t be surprised.
It’s also hurt a little by the commentary team of Aiden English and Byron Saxton, who are literally Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street. It’s always a shame when Lio Rush can do a Spanish Fly to two guys at the same time and it gets the same polite, “ooOOH!” from the crowd that the Women’s Right gets. Jokes aside, it’s good for the time they’re given, and considering the crowd seems relatively unwilling to engage with any of it. Lio wins it, of course, because I’m pretty sure Pat McAfee will hold a championship before Kalisto wins another one. It’s actually for the Cruiserweight Championship, too, which puts it next to the WWE, Universal, and NXT Championship bouts as the only matches of consequence on the entire pay-per-view. The better of the unannounced pre-show matches is NXT Cruiserweight Champion Lio Rush against Open The Cruisergate Champion Akira Tozawa and Good Good Lucha, uh, Luchaweight Champion Kalisto.